So, okay. Here’s the deal with raccoons smoking cigarettes. This is kind of an inside joke between me and my brother. I’m going to preface this story by saying that sometimes I can be kind of…well, ‘gullible’ is not exactly the word I like to use. I prefer to think of myself as someone who can easily wrap my head around the plausibility of outlandish events. More easily than the general (rational) population, let’s say. So anyway, my brother was telling me a story one day about someone we both know, and there were raccoons involved, and at one point he mentioned that “they were smoking cigarettes”. I thought he was referring to the raccoons, and my initial reaction was a kind of awed elation – like, “Oh my god!! The raccoons were smoking cigarettes??!” Which I think is exactly what I said to him, to which he responded with something along the lines of “…what? No. What?? The people were smoking cigarettes…are you kidding? You thought I meant the raccoons?”
Here is the honest truth. I really, truly, in those first few seconds, did think he meant the raccoons. I actually 100% fully believed it. In my (slight) defense, I think I was fairly exhausted at the time — but it’s still pretty idiotic, I know. But you know what? I don’t feel bad about that. I like the fact that the idea of raccoons smoking cigarettes seemed within the realm of possibility. I mean, why not? Apes speak sign language and play chess, so why wouldn’t raccoons smoke cigarettes?
I don’t know, you guys. There is something kind of secretly pleasing about realizing that you have the capacity to genuinely believe in the ridiculous. It’s…pretty fun. Sometimes accepting things at face value — no matter how preposterous or fantastical they may be — is a nice little break from the rationality of reality.