Sneaking Into Movies

skillin' at the movies

A little while ago I wrote about going to the movies alone, which I did today and it was awesome.

Another awesome thing to do is sneak into a second movie after your first one is done, which I also did today. Now, I know that some of you out there might find this a bit morally reprehensible, but let me assure you that it is not. When our parents used to go to the movies, the price of admission was around $2, and when our grandparents went to see a show, it was like 5 cents. And that price probably included popcorn! Nowadays, going to a movie will set you back about $14. And that is a little bit crazy. I mean, it’s not horrible, and if I was a millionaire then I obviously wouldn’t even think about it…but then again, if that were the case I would be watching movies in style, on my private jet en route to my own personal tropical island, where my staff of trained monkey assistants were waiting on hand to do my bidding.

Speaking of which, I was thinking the other day about the kind of monkey I’d like to have as my executive personal assistant, a super smart one with a name like Thaddeus who spoke in a British accent. I could dictate letters to him and he would type them up for me, and this is actually a total necessity in my life right now because when I was taking notes in class the other day I realized that since the advent of computers my handwriting skills have gone completely to hell. Seriously, my printing is at the level of, like, a 5 year old. So I really do need a monkey assistant, is what I’m saying.

Anyway, sneaking into movies absolutely does not make you a bad person. So go ahead and do it…and take your monkey assistant with you! He could use a break from all that typing.


2 responses to “Sneaking Into Movies

  1. Thaddeus sounds cool…
    we monkeys make the best assistants
    and even better bosses.

    but we don’t much like writing –
    we prefer touch screen or painting
    Best of all though we prefer to just monkey round.
    and if there’s popcorn and bananas all the better.

    • Turns out Thaddeus is an awesome dude, so I just hired him!

      Popcorn and bananas are in abundance around here. Perhaps he would like to jump around in mountains of popcorn with me, like at the end of Real Genius. I forgot to ask him whether he likes that movie. I have the feeling he might.

      Anyway, hopefully you’ll get a chance to meet him someday. I feel like you would have a lot in common!


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