Tag Archives: robots

The Doubtful Guest

gorey google

If you have tried googling anything this morning, you may have noticed that today is Edward Gorey day on Google! Yes, apparently they are commemorating what would have been his 88th birthday* with a special logo.

*I wonder why his 88th would be of significance…I know, I will google it!** Hang on….

**Please note that this increasing dependence on machines to do our searching and thinking for us is one of the first steps in our eventual downfall as a species. Yes, you are witnessing the genesis of it all right here, friends. And perhaps one day, many years after our Robot Overlords have wrested control of the planet, a small rag-tag band of rebel humans will mount a resistance movement. Hacking into the matrix, they will search back through the annals of internet history in search of a clue as to how it all went downhill…and maybe they will find this post. If you are reading this, rebel humans, please allow me to extend an apology to you. On behalf of the entire human race, I am sorry that we were too distracted by pictures of cats on the internet to notice that the machines were quietly plotting their attack.

Anyway, back to Edward Gorey. A cursory search has failed to reveal why his 88th birthday would be of importance. There must be a reason for it though. Am I missing something? Is 88 a significant number for Gorey fans? Or for Google? The number 8 is basically the infinity sign flipped on its head, so maybe that has something to do with it. Is Google engaged in an ambitious rivalry with infinity? That would be just like them, wouldn’t it?

Whatever. Some mysteries are never meant to be solved. Like the mystery of Edward Gorey’s ‘The Doubtful Guest’…

Where did he come from? Why did he stay? Was he sporting the same pair of white canvas shoes for 17 years, or did he keep ordering new pairs? Is falling asleep in a soup tureen as uncomfortable as it sounds?

There are no obvious answers to these questions. But I do very much enjoy the Doubtful Guest sitting here inside of the Google logo, surveying the scene with polite interest.

the doubtful guest

“Do tell…”

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Monday Morning Mystery

This was on my desk when I got in to work this morning…

calendar

It’s actually a full size calendar:

2013

With robots on it! So many robots!

I don’t know who made this for me, but I love it!

Kyle Reese’s Nike Vandals

Okay, so, ever since seeing the original Terminator I’ve had kiiiiind of a huge crush on Kyle Reese (the character). I dunno, I guess it’s just something about the whole ‘protector’ vibe he has going on, defending Sarah Connor from the evil, murderous cyborg ruthlessly trying to kill her and wipe out the future of the entire human race.

kyle reese

I mean, I always say that there’s nothing hotter than a dude willing to take on an evil, murderous cyborg for you.*

*I never say that. But I am obviously now going to start. In fact, I think this should be a basic dating criteria. Ask yourself “Would this person defend me from being attacked by a deranged killer robot?” If the answer is no, walk away.

Even more powerful than my love for Kyle, though, is the raging envy I feel every time I see his excellent Nike Vandals. So, so awesome:

nike vandals

Obviously these look great when accessorized with a trench coat and sawed-off shotgun — but really, they work with pretty much anything.

Robots

robots

Okay. Today’s topic is Robots. You guys, where do I even start? I think about robots a lot. It’s just that there are so many different categories of robots. There are the Lovable/Friendly Robots (Wall.E, Number 5 from Short Circuit), the Wisecracking/Smartass Robots (R2D2, Bender from Futurama), the Heroic Robots (Optimus Prime, various other Autobots), and the Creepy/Eerily Humanoid Robots (C3P0, David from A.I., Ulysses from Making Mr. Right, Sonny from I, Robot – which I prefer referring to as “Ja, Robot” as it was titled in the Czech Republic when I was visiting there). And then there’s my favorite category, the Deranged Robots. These ones are the best, because they tap into humankind’s most primal fear: that the technology we’ve created will turn against us and destroy us all in a murderous killing rampage. Oh sorry, is that just me? No…surely I can’t be the only one who’s preoccupied with the idea that all of this playing God we’re doing is just a slippery slope leading to our eventual indentured servitude at the hands of Evil Robot Overlords…? Anyway, Deranged Robots include The Terminator’s T-800, Terminator 2’s T-1000, all of the Decepticons (Megatron in particular), Mechagodzilla, HAL-9000 (technically a deranged computer, but same idea), Evil Bill and Ted, and what the hell, I’ll throw in Darth Vader here too because, as Obi-Wan accurately pointed out, “he’s more machine now than man”.